Semler, Relient K, and Faith
I recently had a chance to see my long-time favorite band Relient K in concert for the first time in over 5 years. Relient K has always had great songs that discuss doubt, faith, fear, and forgiveness. From their most radio-friendly hit ‘be my escape’
“ But the beauty of grace it is makes life not fair”
to even a set of lyrics in 2013’s oft-maligned Collapsible Lung:
And I’m feelin’ backwards when I’m trying the most
And I hope haven’t heard the last words from the holy ghost
Cause I think that I’m supposed to be
Well on my way by now
So when they included Semler (who is openly gay and actual name is Grace Baldridge) as their opener who had a famous tiktok “relient Gay” rendition of Be My escape in late 2020, I wasn’t really surprised and welcomed the gesture to show love to an LBGTQ member of God’s children. Semler’s songs often first come across to me as understandably bitter about how their upbringing to a christian world that was not welcoming. However in concert they were relatable and really funny. An example from a song where they explained a friend’s opening lines when they asked to meet them for coffee and how it stung:
Jesus loves you
But I don't know if he likes you
If you hung out for a day
I think he'd have some notes to go through like
Why are you the way you are?
And hypothetically would you say that hell is near or really far?
I'm just sayin'
Stranger to sinner I sure hope you're prayin'
'Cause judgement is coming and you will be payin'
Semler explained they understood the intention was out of love but how there’s got to be a better way to show it. Many of the songs and one particular moment during the show did reveal the story of redemption and grace that is currently taking place. Although clearly their growing up as a preachers kid and coming out as gay was painful, they shared the news on the tour that their preacher dad is their manager for this tour and is proud of them. This was refreshing news and it was cool to hear everyone cheer. I like their folksy style and appreciate the candor — great artist and they have interviews on youtube about faith and music as well to check out!
The Relient K setlist was full of old favorites and songs I don’t think I’d heard in concert before that the crowd (and I) knew by heart. This was by far the best Relient k crowd I’d ever been a part of — everyone around me was jumping and yelling and doing the arm movements on cue when we knew a specific drum part was coming. Whenever Matt Thiessen pointed the mic towards then crowd through masks we yelled out the lyrics faithfully, even some of the more intricate parts on songs like “I so hate consequences’. As someone who likes to scream the words at concerts it was nice not to feel bad about the people around me. Or to be able to have inside jokes like when Matt said the next song had some words that were mumbled so he could just get by with mumbling and not saying all the words. I yelled out “gibberish?” And some people ahead of me turned around and smiled (it was ‘Empty House’).
As I’ve talked about before, for me Relient K has often been reflective of my own journey as a christian. Just as the early albums were enthusiastic about struggling through doubts into faith and the later ones sometimes have taken a more ‘getting through life’ phase, as my journey as naturally ebbed and flowed or taken on different foci (really focused on ministry at first, then career then fatherhood). I think the early years were summed up well by a quote from Joe Yerke I heard of the Insyderz on a podcast that much of us in our late teens/early twenties who grew up going to christian camps and youth group etc was mostly ‘practice’. EG not drinking not just because of the law but also because we thought doing that would easily show we were ‘different’ and people might gravitate to that.
Relient K’s most immediately popular album was five score and seven years ago in 2007; I like it but not as much as Mmhmm in 2004 partly because I was out of college by then and working and thus didn’t have the energy to really listen to it and go to concerts anymore. 2009’s Forget and Not Slow Down was a really good album and reflected the maturity I felt in myself at that point as well. But it also reflected a bit of a sadness — presumably because Matt Thiessen and his fiancee had broken up. Yet with 2013’s collapsible lung, it seemed clear the Relient k creative/relatable Christian train was slowing down. So I was surprised and excited to hear more overt references about coming back to God in 2016’s Air for Free. Songs that directly addressed it like “God” where the opening line is literally “I believe in God” and a song I’d listened to but hadn’t quite caught all the references to before is “Prodigal”. Specifically, Matt mentioned that attending church as an adult can leave him overcome with guilt, so much so that he doesn’t want to take communion. Yet, even if he’s the last one in line… he’s still in line. It was a powerful statement.
I think what the show did for me was help me start to really reinvigorated my efforts to reevaluate what it means to live by faith. In my teens and 20’s it was all about morning devotionals and serving in ministry so much that I often alienated friends, or used ministry as a means to hide that I didn’t have many good friends. I lived not for myself but yet for God and yet — was it to boost my own ego that I was doing good public things? In my 30’s I’ve mostly just gone to church or the occasional small group, but I’ve struggled with how to do ministry while balancing work and family, and the last 6–7 years have been so busy I can’t say I’ve had that many moments of downtime where I’m able to think past or before the immediate week. The isolation of Covid, moving to Oregon and working a fully remote job hasn’t helped — it’s been a long time since I’ve been around people I didn’t already know and there was something ‘unlocking’ about that. I had the feeling throughout the night almost like “wow, I haven’t been around people like this since college!” While singing along to Be My Escape and Sadie Hawkins Dance.
Finally, it all clicked talking to my long time friend Mark the day after the show. That essentially, you can’t be a christian without relationships with people. You can do all the devotionals and journal writing and bible reading, but if you’re stuck on a desert island (metaphorical or physical!)there’s no way to ‘put faith into action’, There’s no way to show compassion towards the dropouts, the losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools. There was a reason most of the Gospels focused what Jesus with in relationship with others — although him taking time occasionally to be alone and rest; as well as obeying the sabbath are telling. There’s a verse that says:
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
And in some ways, if I’m honest sometimes I do things so that I can boast… “look I’m serving God! I’m doing everything right!”. Or when reading the Bible during quiet time, I catch myself only highlighting and reflecting on the parts that affirm what I believe. For example, lately I’ve begun to question and investigate the idea of a literal hell being full of pain and suffering etc which has implications for ‘saved from what’. I also know I cuss occasionally, yell in frustration at my kids, don’t keep the sabbath, lie, etc. Am I still saved by grace if I’ve kept on sinning so that grace may increase? Doing those things doesn’t mean I’m a christian in themselves, but I feel they’re a reflection of where my heart is (or isn’t); striving to be closer to God in all that I do and letting the overflow of my heart speak for itself.
I guess that’s what being forgiven does. It makes us realize how grace unfairly saves us despite our shortcomings — unfairly because we don’t deserve it and that should fill us all with such joy!
Relient K Setlist
