Hitting Pause to Go Full Speed
Many years ago I approached the pastor of the junior ministry at a church I’d been attending for about a year about volunteering with them. I was 19, had previously been a kids ministry volunteer and knew I wanted to be a middle school math teacher after college and wanted to help and make an impact in any way I could!
So we had a coffee, had a great talk and after I’d passed background checks etc was on my way. When I first met the rest of the volunteer team, the pastor asked me to tell the team what I’d told him why I wanted to help…
I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I know I started talking about how I’d given sermons in the past at my previous church on youth sunday, thought I could relate to the kids since I was young, and wanted to be a math teacher so this was good experience etc… a regular monologue about how great I am! I finished triumphantly, expecting the audience to trip over themselves to get me to involved immediately!
There was an awkward silence and then the pastor gently said, “Well that all sounds great, but what I was really impressed by was that you said you just wanted to hang out with the kids and help out.”
I humbly recognized that yes, that was in fact why I wanted to help — I wanted to serve not lead. But in a moment where I felt I was being asked to prove my worth, I went for the default approach of, “look how much I can be.”
That moment of humility taught me a lot. Since then whenever joining any organization I aim to be the quiet one at first and slowly but surely prove my worth through results and actions… THEN do the talking and leading. This doesn’t always work or even fly as I’ve learned in the business world since leaving teaching nearly five years ago. This past year in particular I’ve had the opportunity to speak at company wide events, industry events and while imposter syndrome is certainly real, it’s starting to be less that and more a matter of execution. This Christmas break season was a much needed break, time with family and time to reevaluate priorities and who I am as a business leader as well as a person.
As I’ve transitioned within ACT in the past few months (again) to a product manager role and am less involved in the day to day development than I have been for the past 3 years since starting OpenSALT, it has been difficult to let my ego go and not be the guy everyone goes to for questions and answers. I am now empowered to help someone else be the authority for the process and details of CASE related products. I still set the vision, roadmap, and have the most subject matter expertise on CASE. Instead I’m able to focus more on how things connect, the customer experience, and working more with the customers which in some ways takes me back to my roots… My job now is to observe, listen, THEN set in motion conversation and action!
That middle school pastor by the way is now an inspirational runner, and dynamic principal of a school in Clovis CA!
